The 21 Weirdest Ways Historical Figures Have Died
Daniel Bonfiglio
Published
04/17/2024
in
wtf
Being a world leader isn't exactly the safest profession. Important figures from throughout history have been repeatedly betrayed, killed on the battlefield, or assassinated. Even in the United States, being president is still the most statistically dangerous job you can have.
But even for those without targets on their backs, important historical figures have been biting the dust in weird ways since the dawn of time. The Greek philosophers were a particularly odd group, often opting for death over any violation of their beliefs. But the strangest Greek philosopher death has to be that of the playwright Aeschylus, who died after an eagle dropped a turtle on his head. To make matters worse, he allegedly had been staying outdoors to avoid a prophecy that he would be killed by a falling object. However, any story about a Greek philosopher should be taken with a grain of salt.
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1.
Edmund II of England died on the toilet when an assassin stabbed him in the behind from the under the latrine pit he was sitting on. -
2.
Danish astronomer Tycho Brahe ruptured his bladder and died after holding in his urine for too long, while trying to be polite at a royal banquet. -
3.
Aeschylus, a Greek playwright, died after an eagle dropped a turtle on his head. However, it is unclear whether that story was fabricated. He also had a known phobia of things falling from the sky. -
4.
John Sedgwick, a general in the union army, was shot and killed immediately after proclaiming, “They couldn't hit an elephant at this distance.” -
5.
Rasputin was poisoned with cyanide, but survived, so Prince Yusupov and his other assassinators shot him. Hours later, Yusupov went to check on the body, and Rasputin tried to attack him, then ran away. They chased him down, shot him again, buried him, and later cremated him to make sure the job was done. -
6.
Jack Daniels died from kicking a safe. He couldn't remember the combination so he kicked it out of frustration. Got a toe infection that killed him. -
7.
Thomas Midgley, the man who added lead to gasoline, contracted polio in his 50s and created a machine to help him get in and out of bed. He got caught in the machine’s pulley system and it strangled him. -
8.
Branwell Brontë, (brother of Emily), decided to die standing up, just to prove that he could. Suffering from multiple illnesses, he knew the end was near, and wanted to go out on his feet. -
9.
Valentinian 1, a Roman emperor, died while yelling at a group of barbarians. His anger against them caused a stroke that killed him. -
10.
William the Conqueror. He died because he smashed his testicles on his horse's saddle. -
11.
The Erfurt latrine disaster occurred on 26 July 1184, when Henry VI, King of Germany, held an assembly in the Petersberg Citadel in Erfurt. On the morning of 26 July, the combined weight of the assembled nobles caused the wooden second story floor of the building to collapse and most of them fell through into the latrine cesspit below the ground floor, where about 60 of them drowned in liquid excrement. -
12.
Diogenes ate bad fish, and the resulting food poisoning was too much. -
13.
Roman Emperor Titus allegedly had a bug fly up his nose, where it slowly ate away at his brain for seven years. When he died they said his brain was the size of a bird’s. -
14.
Franz Reichelt invented what he thought was an acceptable parachute in 1912. He believed it would work and decided to test it by jumping off the Eiffel Tower. The parachute did not work. -
15.
Ányos Jedlik was a famous Hungarian scientist and inventor in the 19th century. He slipped and fell face first down the hole of an outhouse. His shoulders got stuck between the pit's walls, he slid down and drowned in the waste below. -
16.
Sigurd the Mighty, invader and conqueror of the Orkney Islands, was killed in 892 after teeth from the head of a man he had killed nicked his leg and caused a massive and deadly infection. -
17.
Daniel Hough was the first recorded death at the official start of the Civil war. He died by accident when a cannon prematurely exploded as he was loading it. -
18.
A Greek philosopher called Chrysippus died from laughter from seeing a donkey drinking wine. -
19.
Despite participating in countless battles, Attila the Hun died after choking on his own blood and vomit in a drunken stupor after his wedding night. -
20.
In 1923 Frank Hayes, a jockey from Ireland, died from a heart attack in the middle of a race. The horse, Sweet Kiss, ended up finishing in first place with the man's body still on top of it. The horse was a 20-1 outsider (very unlikely to win) and Hayes had never won a race prior to that event. -
21.
Tommy Cooper, a British standup/prop comedian had a heart attack on stage. The crowd thought it was part of the act and laughed the whole way through.
- REPLAY GALLERY
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- The 21 Weirdest Ways Historical Figures Have Died
Edmund II of England died on the toilet when an assassin stabbed him in the behind from the under the latrine pit he was sitting on.
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